


Get a Room!

by LadyBuck112



Series: Marriage Counseling [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bad ass Cullen, Crazy stuff, Denerim, F/M, Grumpy Cullen Rutherford, I love Cullen so..., Inspired by true events, Skyhold, Sometimes he's well behaved, The reason he and his wife go to marriage counseling, sometimes he ain't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 08:00:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6603097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBuck112/pseuds/LadyBuck112
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen and the Inquisitor try to get a room in Denerim for their weekend away from Skyhold.</p><p>Per their counseling assignment...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get a Room!

**Author's Note:**

> It is also partially based on my experience this past weekend.
> 
> And yes, I changed the name of two famous booking sites! ;)

“What do you mean you don’t see my reservation?”

Trev was generally a patient person, but after all the planning for their special weekend, she could certainly hear the tremble of agitation creep into her voice. “Here is a copy of the room confirmation that was sent to me.” Inquisitor Trevelyan, also known as Trev, handed the innkeeper a copy of the confirmation letter that was sent to Skyhold three days ago.

 

“Yes Miss. I am not seeing your name listed on our guest list for the night...” The innkeeper nervously began to search through some other papers on his desk like he was looking for something, _anything_ that would have the name Rutherford on it. “I’m so sorry Mrs. Rutherford, but we don’t have your registration on file here.”

 

Trev drew in a deep breath, “Ok…do you have any other rooms available?”

 

The innkeeper glanced behind Trev towards the 50 other people shifting impatiently behind her before continuing. “I’m so sorry, but we currently have no vacancies due to the cheese tasting festival this weekend.”

 

 _No vacancies…no vacancies?…_ the words echoed in her mind like a taunt.

 

“ _Well I prepaid for this room_.” Simmering pissed-offness.

 

“Yes Miss but since you booked with a third party- which was it? Coldwire or Lexpedia?- you’ll have to write them to request a refund.”

 

 _Don’t you know who I am? Don’t you know that I could just zap you with rift magic if I wanted to?! Zap!_ Narrowing her eyes, she snatched her reservation parchment and stormed out of the inn.

 

“Blasted Coldwire!” Trev stormed over towards Cullen whose back was leaned against a wall, arms crossed over his chest. Hearing her foot steps and curses, he righted himself and cocked a brow.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Friggin’ innkeeper said that he couldn’t find my Coldwire reservation. They are completely booked, and since I prepaid, I have to contact _them_ to cancel and get my money back.”

 

Cullen took the reservation from his woman’s hands and looked it over. Eyebrows set low over his eyes, he walked towards the tavern and snatched the doors open almost breaking them off their hinges. Disregarding the long line of other patrons, he strode to the registration table and slammed the reservation down on the desk.

 

“Excuse me Ser! You are cutting, we’ve waited-“Cullen slowly turned his head to face the customer complaining behind him. Without a word, he just glared at the woman who shut her mouth immediately. He was _not_ in the mood.

 

Looking at the attendant he spoke slowly and deliberately, “That woman outside has sealed rifts, walked through the fade, and slaughtered a darkspawn magister and you are telling me that we cannot get a fucking room tonight?! I have worked my ass off to get me and my wife out here for one night to relax.” He practically snarled the words.

 

“I-I understand Commander.” Poor guy, “I wish I could, but the cheese tasting-“

 

Snatching the guy by the front of his shirt Cullen brought him close to his face to punch him but heard the clanking of boots and swords.

 

“Ser, please let go of the innkeeper.” Two city guards walked up behind Cullen. Cullen froze with indecision: punch the innkeeper and go to jail or let him go peacefully?

 

_Damn._

Never taking his eyes off him, he freed the man’s shirt from his grasp. Cullen snatched the parchment from the desk, nodded to the guards and escorted himself towards the tavern doors.

 

“No luck?” Trev smiled.

 

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose. “How about we look into some of these other places. I’m ready for a hot meal, a warm bed and something else…” He smirked at Trev who rolled her eyes in response.

 

Together, they continued to check other nearby inns and taverns.

 

“Sorry, we’re booked”

“No vacancies.”

“No rooms here.”

“It’s the cheese tasting festival-“

 

Exasperated, Trev threw her hands up in the air, “Let’s just spend the night at the lake?”

 

Cullen gave her the death stare. “No, I need a bed.”

 

“Cullen, it could be nice and romantic. We were going to visit the lake tomorrow anyway, why not just set up camp and warm each other up.” She rubbed up against Cullen playfully. Cullen didn’t respond, instead he walked towards a tavern bustling with people inside and out.

 

“I’ll check this last one and then we’ll go to the lake.”

 

“Cullen…” Trev shook her head and sat on a bench to wait. “Be good, please.”

 

Cullen stormed into the tavern and looked around. People were drinking, dancing, eating stupid cheese, and generally having a good time. Spotting the innkeeper he took a deep breath to cool himself down. The dwarven innkeeper regarded Cullen with little interest.

 

“Do you have any rooms available?”

 

“Nope.”

 

Cullen waited there a moment. _Was that it? Just ‘nope?’ Ok, I’m going to let this go and camp at the lake with my wife._ Cullen glared at the innkeeper for good measure and turned to walk out of the tavern.

 

“Aye, ain’t dat the inquisitor’s pet Templar?” Cullen looked towards the gruffly spoken comment. The loser was a large burly man who apparently had a quite few too many drinks. Or maybe he was just stupid.

 

“What was that?” _‘Be good please’_ echoed in his head.

 

“Yea, you the Commander Templar of the Inquisition. Blasted arse is too good to let someone like me and my pals join in on the fun. We had to pick up horse dung while he was fucking the herald and bossing people around.” The man walked up to Cullen, three other men followed closely behind.

 

Cullen put his hand on the door to walk out but then he changed his mind. _I’ll keep this short._

 

Cullen narrowed his eyes. “Ah, I remember you. You sorry excuse for a soldier. I know what you did to those two elven servants. You piece of filth. I should have tossed you out of Skyhold and used you as bait for the Red Templars.” Cullen stepped forward to look the man squarely in the eyes. He remembered getting the report that one of his recruits tried to force himself on a servant when off duty, and once when he was on duty late at night. “And for the record, ‘Ser’,” Cullen drawled dangerously, “If you ever mention my wife and ‘fuck’ in the same sentence again, I will cut your tiny little balls off and use them for fishing tomorrow.”

 

The man growled and swung a fist at Cullen who easily maneuvered out of the way. No longer sleepy, Cullen kicked the guy in the gut sending him flying into his friends.

 

“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Rang in the tavern as others joined the brawl.

 

Hearing the commotion from outside, Trev ran into the tavern. “What the heck is going on? Cullen?!” Trev ran over to Cullen who was now on the floor wrestling the big man.

 

 _This is ridiculous!_ Cullen slugged the man across the jaw only to receive one back. Cullen growled and slugged the man again.

 

Another guy grabbed a nearby chair and hefted it over his head to slam down on the Commander. But Trev was already there. Kicking him in the stomach the guy fell back, the chair landed on his head.

 

Just then a group of city guards came into the tavern.

 

“Break it up!” the Captain ordered. Cullen, the disgruntled drunkard, Trev, and the other guy froze- well, Trev elbowed the guy she was fighting in the jaw first, then froze.

 

“Commander? Inquisitor?”

 

Cullen cleared his throat as he stood up, he licked the blood off his lip. “Captain Kirst. I um…yes...”

 

Trev stood up, dusted the dirt off her dress, and smiled sweetly, “Hello Captain.”

 

After surveying the room Captain Kirst shook his head in disgust, his gaze falling on the three laid out men, “Guards, get those three men. You two come with me.”

 

Cullen took his wife’s hand and followed the Captain of the guard out of the tavern.

 

“What in the world happened?”

 

“We were looking for a room for the night.” Trev explained.

 

“Ah. Everything is booked due to the-“

 

“Cheese tasting festival.” Cullen and Trev finished for him.

 

“Yes. Now, let me get this straight: you threatened an innocent innkeeper and caused a large fight tonight all for a room?”

 

“We didn’t cause the fight. Those bastards were far overdue for a beating.” Cullen pointed out.

 

The guard considered, “Well, if you went through all of this, I might be able to help. It won’t be much, but it’ll be something…”

\---

“Cullen.” Trev crossed her arms over her chest and stared daggers at the man sprawled on the pathetic excuse for a bed. The jail cell was cold and dank, with only a bed and a piss pot.

 

“What? It’s a room.”

 

 

 


End file.
